Thursday, August 4, 2016

Way up I feel blessed June 13, 2016

Hullo everybody

I'm not really sure where to start with this week but it has been
great! I'm sure it has been obvious to all of you but I've been having
a hard time getting humble and finding joy in being obedient and
following all the little rules that come with being a missionary. So
in efforts to have a better attitude as I crawl down this long road of
humility I started marking and underlining and circling and
whatevering all of the blessings that Heavenly Father promises us as
we are obedient. I started out with my patriarchal blessing and then
moved on to the white handbook and then Preach My Gospel and it has
now spun out of control and I mark any time that a blessing is
promised in whatever I am reading, and you know what, WE ARE SO
BLESSED. It probably sounds corny but I can't think of any other way
to put it, everything that Heavenly Father does is to bless us. The
sabbath day? He has set aside one day of the week just for you so that
you can leave your worries and stress of the world and focus on the
things that will truly bring you peace (mark 2:27) every commandment
we are given is to help us, and then on top of that he gives us more
blessings for keeping his commandments!! It's madness. A week or so
ago I was reading in Mosiah 2 and it talks a lot about it how much we
are blessed. There is no way on heaven or earth we could ever pay back
Heavenly Father for everything he has given us. We could dedicate
every day and moment of our entire lives to serving him and it still
wouldn't be enough! Because He has given us life, and strength, and
supports us in all things, He is helping us help Him (Mosiah 2:21)
this is a terrible analogy but I am using it anyways. We have a new
mission wide rule that everyone has to wear bug spray at all times and
last week there was a couple days where it was in the hundreds and the
humidity was kickin in and I felt like I was on the verge of melting.
It was bad news. And then we had to put bug spray on. And I felt so
disgusting and sticky and mad and we were walking around and I was
just in a bad mood. I was really annoyed and thinking about all the
rules and everything that we have to follow and the spirit kind of
knocked me upside the head and I got over myself I put it together
that we weren't given this bug spray rule to make us be annoyed and
gross. It's literal only purpose is to help us and protect us. And
it's the same with the commandments. Heavenly Father doesn't give us
commandments to make us miserable, he gives them us to bless and
protect us. He asks that we pray so that we can let him know what's
going on and ask him for help. And he will help us. AND he will bless
us for keeping his commandment on top of that. It's probably a really
selfish way to look at obedience and the commandments but it is where
I'm at right now. Baby steps.. 😏
In other news I am feeling a lot better. You probably didn't know that
there was anything wrong with me and honestly for a long time neither
did I. But since college I have been feeling sort of off, the things
that used to make me happy and I enjoyed doing weren't anymore, I
didn't have any energy to do anything, and I was generally feeling
bleh. And I couldn't figure out what it was or what had happened that
made me start feeling this way, there was just something missing and I
didn't know where to find it. I still don't know what it is or what
has happened but I am starting to feel more like my old self again in
a good way. Being outside makes me happy, talking to people makes me
happy, dogs have always made me happy, but those little things that
used to put a smile on my face that weren't cutting it for me anymore
are starting to come back. I just feel more in tune with everything. I
dunno what to say!! I'm just happy! And happy to be happy. I don't
know why or what happened that brought this about but I know that it
is all God. I know that what is said in Matthew 10:39 is true.
Heavenly Father can make us into the person we want to be(as well as a
person even better than that) only if we will let him. I have wanted
and tried to get back to feeling this way for so long, and it wasn't
until I came out here and started serving the Lord that it happened.
As we lose our life in serving Christ we will ultimately find it. And
I am grateful. I'm grateful to be a missionary and I'm grateful for
all the blessings that I have been given that I know about and the
blessings that I have been given that I don't know about or even
Sister Ensign shared this quote that I really liked
I am who I am
I am who I was
I am who I want to be.
This can be taken a lot of different ways but essential this is how I took it-
I am who I am: I accept who I am at this present time
I am who I was: I am still the person that I was in the pre existence,
I am and can be as righteous and good as I was before I came to this
life. Only Heavenly Father knows who that person is though, he knows
us better than we know ourselves because we can't remember. Therefore
he is the only person who can truly know how to make us happy
I am who I want to be: I am in control of my actions and responsible
for who I am. I can be whoever I want to be, but it is up to me.

We can become the people we want to. If we will let Heavenly Father show us how.

Ok that was corny bye I'm sorry I hope you all have a good week I love you

Sister Madsen

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